Accepting People for Who They Are....

...not for who I want them to be.

If I want people to accept me and listen to what I have to say, I have to repay the favor. I need to accept them with all their flaws. Now, that doesn't mean I need to be a doormat because it's someone's nature to bulldoze over everyone and get what they want regardless of what anyone else feels, says, or thinks.

I need to accept that some people just aren't capable of the friendships that I want. And that's fine. They can be who they are, and I can be who I am. We just may not be as close as I'd like. Or even close at all.

But I can't have any malice or anger towards them. They're just being who they are. They are here to teach me something. Even if it's something small, I can learn from everyone.

Sometimes the message is what I want to hear and sometimes it's not. But I can't control them. I can't strong arm them into changing. And honestly, I wouldn't want them to change to suit me. Then it takes away everything I like about them. What makes them unique and perfect.

Maybe that's how I should look at it.

Everyone is perfect.

They may be perfect for me, or not. But you can't mess with perfection!

Second: Learn to Say NO!

I think this has to do with my People Pleaser personality in general. But I have a very difficult time saying no. I'm sure many people have this problem and for those that don't I'm very jealous. And since I want to please people, I have a strong propensity towards saying yes to everything. I'm learning to say no. It's been a little tricky lately.

I said no to advising for two more years. But I did agree to a smaller volunteer role.

I said no to being the Troop Leader for Angel Baby's Daisy Girl Scout troop. I did agree to being one of three co-leaders.

I said no to Test Knitting. Putting the added pressure of a deadline just makes knitting a chore rather than something I do for relaxation.

I said no to myself about gift knitting last Christmas/Yule. No need to freak out over something that most people are just going to throw into a drawer and never use.

I said no to changing plans to go along with what others wants to do. They're fine on their own without me. 

I said no to additional committees at work.

I said NO to anything that takes away from what sustains me.

I had a rough winter in 2014. Spring too. There were a lot of factors. But I think the major one, is that I just overtaxed myself by saying yes, to other people way to often. I started to turn inward, lash out at those I love, and started on the slippery slope to depression. I'm sure if I had stayed where I was much longer, I'd have needed a LOT of help to get out.

Luckily, there were a few people close to me that mentioned they were worried. I hadn't thought I was as far deep as I was. They helped me notice I needed to grab on to the side of the hill before I ended up rolling down to the bottom.

To those people I say THANK YOU! Because of you I finally opened my eyes and SAW what was happening.

I decided that that was the point in time to start clearing out the clutter, bullshit, and people that aren't working in my life. I needed to cut back the overgrowth and find what truly matters to me.

I'm still working on it.

Probably always will.

Now, it's just holding my ground so that the things that don't work don't come back. And believe me, when you've been the person that always says yes, people don't understand what NO means. It takes a lot of endurance to keep saying no.

But I have to.

Because saying NO to them means saying YES to myself!

Magick Happens When....

Last weekend was fun, fulfilling and just what I needed.

The ladies of my circle and I ended up having a Blessingway for one of our sisters. She is due at the end of December and we wanted to give her an afternoon of pampering, support and love.

Yes, she felt love and support.
Yes, she got some focal points for her delivery room.

But the most amazing thing, that I didn't even think of happened. 

We all ended up with a gift of replenishing, and support.

I needed to give this afternoon to her.
And more imporatantly, I was supported by other sisters in getting things off the ground and definitely wouldn't have been able to do anything if it wasn't for their help.

Others enjoyed the conversation.
Some liked the creative outlet of henna and prayer flags.
Still others, enjoyed the meditation.
And we all loved the feast. 

Having a laid back, structured afternoon with women focusing on support and love is fascinating!

It was an amazing experience to be surrounded by such a wonderful group of women.

As they say, "When women get together, magick happens."

The Wisdom of Gaia

Many of you may have seen this on Leeanna's site "Can We Have a New Witch? Ours Melted" yesterday.

I just had to repost!!!