Thursday, June 11, 2015

Learn from Every Situation

I'm trying to learn from everything right now. I'm dealing with a poopy situation at work and I'm struggling with this concept. What am I supposed to take from this? I'm going through a tough time with my Daughter and her "feeling all the feels." I'm approaching a new path on my spiritual journey. But everything is intertwined. It all adds to the same lessons. Spiritual and Mundane aren't specifically separate. There is always overlap and movement.

I know that difficulties lie in every situation. But I have to have faith that there is something to learn.

Every step gets me closer. Every situation teaches.

I find I keep sighing. Not in dismay, or disgust. More trying to steady myself and keep moving step by step. Taking in as much as possible.

I think it's time I start journaling in a stream of conciousness type of way again. Just open up and write, write, write. Don't even think. Just spit out. It might get it out of me. Or maybe Automatic writing will occur. Regardless, something has to come out eventually.


Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Accepting People for Who They Are....

...not for who I want them to be.

If I want people to accept me and listen to what I have to say, I have to repay the favor. I need to accept them with all their flaws. Now, that doesn't mean I need to be a doormat because it's someone's nature to bulldoze over everyone and get what they want regardless of what anyone else feels, says, or thinks.

I need to accept that some people just aren't capable of the friendships that I want. And that's fine. They can be who they are, and I can be who I am. We just may not be as close as I'd like. Or even close at all.

But I can't have any malice or anger towards them. They're just being who they are. They are here to teach me something. Even if it's something small, I can learn from everyone.

Sometimes the message is what I want to hear and sometimes it's not. But I can't control them. I can't strong arm them into changing. And honestly, I wouldn't want them to change to suit me. Then it takes away everything I like about them. What makes them unique and perfect.

Maybe that's how I should look at it.

Everyone is perfect.

They may be perfect for me, or not. But you can't mess with perfection!

Thursday, March 5, 2015

Love has no...

I agree with the point behind this video. But I think it misses the mark in some ways.

By simplifying the message in this way, they're also hindering it.

By saying that you don't see race, you're missing out on all the things that make us different. If you don't see religion, you're missing out on a different point of view. If you don't see age, gender,'re missing out.

What you're claiming you don't see is what makes the person attractive to you. You love them because of their similarities and differences. I believe that love sees all and despite all the flaws, differences, gender, etc, you can accept someone. For who they are. Not who you want them to be. Or who they think they are.

I mean simply....

Love sees everything.

And it's all that much more for seeing. And accepting.

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Second: Learn to Say NO!

I think this has to do with my People Pleaser personality in general. But I have a very difficult time saying no. I'm sure many people have this problem and for those that don't I'm very jealous. And since I want to please people, I have a strong propensity towards saying yes to everything. I'm learning to say no. It's been a little tricky lately.

I said no to advising for two more years. But I did agree to a smaller volunteer role.

I said no to being the Troop Leader for Angel Baby's Daisy Girl Scout troop. I did agree to being one of three co-leaders.

I said no to Test Knitting. Putting the added pressure of a deadline just makes knitting a chore rather than something I do for relaxation.

I said no to myself about gift knitting last Christmas/Yule. No need to freak out over something that most people are just going to throw into a drawer and never use.

I said no to changing plans to go along with what others wants to do. They're fine on their own without me. 

I said no to additional committees at work.

I said NO to anything that takes away from what sustains me.

I had a rough winter in 2014. Spring too. There were a lot of factors. But I think the major one, is that I just overtaxed myself by saying yes, to other people way to often. I started to turn inward, lash out at those I love, and started on the slippery slope to depression. I'm sure if I had stayed where I was much longer, I'd have needed a LOT of help to get out.

Luckily, there were a few people close to me that mentioned they were worried. I hadn't thought I was as far deep as I was. They helped me notice I needed to grab on to the side of the hill before I ended up rolling down to the bottom.

To those people I say THANK YOU! Because of you I finally opened my eyes and SAW what was happening.

I decided that that was the point in time to start clearing out the clutter, bullshit, and people that aren't working in my life. I needed to cut back the overgrowth and find what truly matters to me.

I'm still working on it.

Probably always will.

Now, it's just holding my ground so that the things that don't work don't come back. And believe me, when you've been the person that always says yes, people don't understand what NO means. It takes a lot of endurance to keep saying no.

But I have to.

Because saying NO to them means saying YES to myself!