I think this has to do with my People Pleaser personality in general. But I have a very difficult time saying no. I'm sure many people have this problem and for those that don't I'm very jealous. And since I want to please people, I have a strong propensity towards saying yes to everything. I'm learning to say no. It's been a little tricky lately.
I said no to advising for two more years. But I did agree to a smaller volunteer role.
I said no to being the Troop Leader for Angel Baby's Daisy Girl Scout troop. I did agree to being one of three co-leaders.
I said no to Test Knitting. Putting the added pressure of a deadline just makes knitting a chore rather than something I do for relaxation.
I said no to myself about gift knitting last Christmas/Yule. No need to freak out over something that most people are just going to throw into a drawer and never use.
I said no to changing plans to go along with what others wants to do. They're fine on their own without me.
I said no to additional committees at work.
I said NO to anything that takes away from what sustains me.
I had a rough winter in 2014. Spring too. There were a lot of factors. But I think the major one, is that I just overtaxed myself by saying yes, to other people way to often. I started to turn inward, lash out at those I love, and started on the slippery slope to depression. I'm sure if I had stayed where I was much longer, I'd have needed a LOT of help to get out.
Luckily, there were a few people close to me that mentioned they were worried. I hadn't thought I was as far deep as I was. They helped me notice I needed to grab on to the side of the hill before I ended up rolling down to the bottom.
To those people I say THANK YOU! Because of you I finally opened my eyes and SAW what was happening.
I decided that that was the point in time to start clearing out the clutter, bullshit, and people that aren't working in my life. I needed to cut back the overgrowth and find what truly matters to me.
I'm still working on it.
Probably always will.
Now, it's just holding my ground so that the things that don't work don't come back. And believe me, when you've been the person that always says yes, people don't understand what NO means. It takes a lot of endurance to keep saying no.
But I have to.
Because saying NO to them means saying YES to myself!
